My feet sink deep in the mud, shit, I was only going out to get some onions, fresh air, have a walk, I end up walking for four hours or so, meeting the hunters, shooting, picking up their pray, dogs close to their side, drifting the wildlife, bait for the hunter waiting on the other side hidden, no way I’m of the road in this season, too fucking dangerous, they shoot redheads as well, but I went for a shortcut back and ended up in the mud see what happens, the trees are standing with their roots in the water, a big brown cow is eying at me too busy eating I hope, her sister sniffs loudly and looks up to see me passing, the beautiful sunset behind their brown fur standing with their hooves deep in the straw, steam out of their noses, my skin steams as I leave the shower, it’s damp getting cold, heat up the fireplace stealing wood to keep the fire going, my karma insists on bringing it back some day, yes I will no hurry there are some more jobs to get even, in the supermarché I get beaujolais, cantharels, water, fruit, to keep me going for a couple of days, I listen to the BBC, drink bourbon and let the past roll over me, work in the garden until my body starts resisting, read sunbear and have a sudden urge to smoke a cigarette, evrything you once tasted literally everything stays stored in your cells, until you cleanse it out, I cleanse a lot, but it still keeps bothering me, the taste, the bitter taste, the sweet taste, I need more mud to step in deep, to feel my feet solid on the ground, mother earth knows what I need, but my ego keeps on sucking, hello little sister be brave she shouted, be brave, in my other life as an artist, the title of my best exhibiton was be brave and so she is, opening up can be painful fucking tears to shed, but I wont close that door anymore, the world needs love, compassion and generosity, let us begin with loving ourselves and when you are capable of taken care of yourself, start spreading your love around you, like a light, I have enough, I can share, if I learn to contain this energy, instead of loosing the grip, spreading it to all directions, focus, my spine straight, my chest open, my heart light and loving, will I dance till the end of the days.