I keep it short, my eyes are hurting, too long in the car driving, behind te screen writing, but….
I’m halfway already on this trip to Australia, letting go, arrived back home today from a couple of days silence in the north of France, beautiful Picardie. It feels like I need a break, my life could be a bit less hectic, this hectic is mainly imbedded in ourself off course, when I drove down the bridge today entering Rotterdam I realised, how wonderful, I have no home to go to, I am carrying my home in my heart, and that feels good, coming home at last.
Going on a trip then is no longer to escape, but a party with uncertain destinations.
And still, it comes it goes, like waves, thoughts, feelings, something else, someone else is shifting over, me, time, acceptance, oh and yes it hurts, love always does, I would like to have had it different (he said don’t you think I would have liked it to have different for us) so where are we now? It is the way it is, it won’t work, still I love, I am love, to learn it anyway, to accept my moods.
How green the grass different is at the neighbours, how the body rotates and returns, consumed by lust. I will walk, slowly, fast, where love leads me, transforming this love into something higher, some creative action, the becoming of, to be. It’s allright, I felt perfect love, thank you, I don’t need a man anymore. (for the time being, haha)